Room 101: Steve Boden – Jersey hooker

1. Happy Clappy People
Don't get me wrong despite having a reputation for being a bit of a moaner I can smile with the best of them. It's just that I like the simple things in life, like a pint of bitter, walking my dog along the beach, going fishing and seeing family and friends. What gets me is people that overtly try to be happy and ‘high five' each other to create a false upbeat atmosphere. I'm all for a positive vibe, too, but I think you can be positive just by rocking up and getting on with your job to the best of your ability. I've known a few culprits of this ‘fake' positivity over the years. Stuart Corsair, a former team-mate of mine at Doncaster, springs to mind as the worst. One minute he'd be trying to ‘gee' everyone up and would be on top of the world and shooting for the stars only to eventually crash down to earth and be under a dark cloud of depression that could last for days!
TRP verdict: Get in there! You're the man…Apologies, a simple ‘well done', you're in Room 101 would have been sufficient.
2. Freeloaders
As well as being fortunate enough to count rugby as a profession I'm also a fully qualified plumber. Once I retire, which is closer than I'd like to think having just turned 30, I intend to go into the business full-time. In the meantime, though, it is a case of doing the odd job when time and training permits. So far I've yet to put my plumbing skills to practice in Jersey but at my previous club Doncaster I was always being asked to do favours for the boys. Of course I was happy to oblige – for ‘mates' rates' – but not for nothing! All I'd ask for was for a little bit of cash to cover expenses and the like but most of them thought my services should come free of charge.
TRP verdict:  I'll tell you this for nothing: ‘You're in'
3. Law ‘interpretation'
It may be a controversial thing to say but I'm of the opinion that the game should be refereed the same way wherever you are in the world! Unfortunately this couldn't be further from the truth with the Southern Hemisphere whistlers reffing one way and the Northern lot reffing another. Even in England you can get different interpretations of the laws from one week to the next. Some officials will ping you for ‘hands on' if you just touch the ball at the breakdown, while others won't give you a penalty for love or money. In my opinion too much time is spent nowadays analysing how the ref will referee the scrum and the breakdown. If they just applied the rules the same the world over then there would be more time during the week to work on rugby skills and drills.
TRP verdict:  The whistle has been blown on your chances of a clean sweep. You're out.