Room 101: Dave Walder – former England and Mitsubishi Dynaboars fly-half

1. Ineffective Touch Judges
It amazes me how TJs fail to get the number of an offending player or can't suggest a punishment worthy of the crime when their advice is sought over an act of foul play.
Too often touch judges raise their flag, play stops and a discussion ensues before the touch judge describes the offence in perfect detail only to go on and say he “didn't get a number”.
If they saw the offence in the detail they describe, surely it is impossible not to know who committed it?
A perfect example of this was during a Wasps v Leicester game when Dan Leo (afro and all) and Alex Tuilagi were involved in a scuffle which spilt over to the front row of the stands. Yellow cards were expected as the bare minimum but to the surprise of all concerned the touch judge suddenly realised the possible effects of his intervention and effectively copped out.
Nobody needs reminding of the failure to red card Manu Tuilagi after his assault on Chris Ashton in the semi-finals of the Premiership. The touch judge had the perfect view and yet Tuilagi stayed on the pitch. If it had been the other way round (at Northampton) I'm not sure it would have been the same outcome.
PS: I haven't got a vendetta against the Tuilagi family – they just happen to be involved in the two instances which came into my head!
TRP verdict: We've got their number, too, Dave. You're in!
2. Smoking in public
This is something which I thought I had seen the back of after the UK ban was enforced several years back.
However, on moving to Japan, it has unfortunately resurfaced as most of the population not only smokes but also seems to insist on doing so on the table next to me in restaurants.
I have never been a smoker and do not have a problem with others doing so but I had become used to getting in from the pub and not stinking like an ash tray. My drunken routine has now reverted back to getting home and heading straight for the washing machine before showering and then trying to talk my wife into letting me into bed.
TRP verdict:  You've got every right to be fuming! You're in.
3. Discourteous people
Whether it's holding a door open for someone or waiting in a passing place for an oncoming car, one of the most frustrating things is when the person you've taken the time to consider doesn't say ‘thank you'.
How hard is it to nod your head or raise your hand in acknowledgement? It is not time wasted or the effort expended which gets to me, just the sheer rudeness of not thanking someone for doing something for you.
Having been critical of the Japanese in No.2, I will stick up for them here and say that their road manners border on impeccable. However, all too often when I was last back in the UK I found myself yelling “thank you!” at a person as they passed without even a raise of their eyebrows.
TRP verdict:  Say ‘ta-ta' to the rude brigade. You're in again.