Room 101: Jamie Salter – Launceston captain

1.Seagulls
Coming from West Cornwall over the years I've had chips, ice creams and even pasties stolen right from my hands by these pests of the skies. Not content with robbing me of food they like to decorate my car with their mess whenever I park it at work. I reckon I must have to have it cleaned at least once a week. It's a nightmare and the world would be better off without them!
TRP verdict: Call us gull-ible but you get into Room 101 on the strength of your pasty story alone.
2.Barber Chat
By this I specifically mean the moment the barber shows you the back of your head and enquires, ‘is that okay for you, sir?' It is the only time that I ever look at the back of my head and the answer is always the same, ‘yes that's fine, thanks'. It's not like you can ask him to stick some back on! Also, on every visit I get asked how I want the back cut; tapered or square. I'm not even sure I know what tapered means.
TRP verdict:  It was a close shave but you're in again.
3.Low Quality Bog Roll
You find that a lot of rugby clubs pay no attention to quality when it comes to toilet roll. It's false economy if you ask me because you end up using 10 times more than you would if it was made of thicker paper. The Redruth toilets are particularly shocking. All you get there is the grease-proof type of paper that you used to get in schools. Maybe they have deluxe paper for every other game and just bring out the rank stuff when we visit!
TRP verdict: You've cracked it! That's 3 out of 3.