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Room 101: Richmond No.8 Jake Parker

Jake Parker

Richmond face their most significant match of the season this weekend when they travel to the Rams in National One.

Level on points at the top of the league, victory for Richmond would continue a season lacking in complaints.

Cynical as we are, we asked the back-row forward to pick three pet hates he considered worthy of entering Room 101.

1. My messy girlfriend

I’m constantly on at my girlfriend to sort herself out and put her clothes away instead of leaving them strewn all over the bedroom floor. Wear it and put it away! Whatever I say though never seems to have any effect.

TRP verdict: You’ve every right to hang her out to dry here.

2. The Central Line in summer

The half-an-hour commute from Shepherd’s Bush into the City is not great at the best of times but it is particularly bad in the summer when the Tube feels like a sauna. It gets  that hot sometimes, you feel like your shoes are melting. It’s a necessary evil, I suppose, but it would be much nicer if I could turn up for work without being covered in sweat and have a layer of black dust all over my face.

TRP verdict: Having been subjected to the Northern ‘misery’ Line for five years, I can feel your pain. It’s time to draw a red line under this though, and let it pass into Room 101.

3. Middle Lane hoggers

Our hooker Ross Grimstone is particularly bad for sitting in the middle or outside lane, pottering along at less than 70mph. I went on a speed awareness course the other day and they said that middle lane drivers cause so many accidents because other road users get frustrated and dangerously undertake them. These people need to be prosecuted!

TRP verdict: “Stuck In The Middle With You” by Stealers Wheel on, next time he drives you anywhere.

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