Room 101: Jon Brennan – Jersey prop

1. Shopping for Jeans
As a prop your legs are either too short or too fat to be able to buy off-the-peg jeans. I'm still wearing the same pair I was given by a clothes company that sponsored the club back in the old National Two days. They're about four years old now and I've lost count of the number of times by mother-in-law has performed running repairs on them. They have officially been called a “disgrace” and I've been banished from wearing them out in public so the painful search for a new pair has begun in earnest.
TRP verdict: We're not going to Wrangle with you on this.
2. Conspiracy Theorists
Some people refuse to take anything at face value and peddle the view that we're always being lied to by the authorities. One of my ‘favourites' is that the moon landings were faked and that the moon itself is a hologram. I also heard a ridiculous theory about how the Iraq war started not because of oil but because Saddam Hussein had discovered an inter-galactic portal. Rugby is not immune to this concept either. The conspiracy theorists went to town after the All Blacks went down with food poisoning on the eve of the 1995 World Cup final.
TRP verdict: Plot your path to Room 101.
3. Baby Bowel Movements
My wife and I have got a three-week-old baby boy called Bertie who needs changing/feeding every 3-4 hours. I don't mind the nappy-changing so much it is just the unpredictability of the situation. Just when you think it's ‘job done' and you can crawl back into bed he gets a gassy look in his face and his laser-guided tummy does its worst – sometimes all over your clothes.
TRP verdict: You've every right to spit your dummy out.