ROOM 101

THE SEDGLEY PARK LOCK TAKES US THROUGH HIS PET HATES FROM THE RUGBY WORLD AND BEYOND

BOB BIRTWELL

1 A prop’s demeanour

Props wind me up. They are always the slowest and last to everything – everything but the food queue. If you go out 40 minutes before kick-off to do a lineout drill, you can guarantee it’s Ben Black and Nathan Rushton that you’re waiting for. Admittedly, I’ve probably got a bit of a vendetta against them, because I spend half my time with my head up their arse. When you get up from a collapsed scrum, it’s like you’ve had your head stuck down a toilet!

TRP VERDICT: We can totally understand why you are so arsey about this.

2. Late cry-offs

I organised a go-karting event the other night for insurance brokers; it’s a good chance to do a bit of schmoozing and 16 of us were supposed to be there. Two days beforehand, though, five people cried off, apparently for no other reason than they couldn’t be arsed. Does my head in!

TRP VERDICT: I’d hate to see what you’re like when your wheels really come off!

3. HMRC

I pay benefit in kind for my company car and every year I get notified by HMRC I’m using the wrong tax code, and I’ve either underpaid or overpaid. The detail in the letter is written like it’s in a different language, it’s so hard to understand. But when you try and contact them, it’s impossible to find the right number to get them on, and when you do, it takes ages to get through. Nightmare.

TRP VERDICT: While we don’t want you to get upset on our account, we’d be more than happy to put this through.