FRENCH COLUMN
Toulouse are the recordbreakers who are leaving the entire Top 14 in their glittering wake. For a start, they had already set a new mark of unbeaten matches when they reeled off 14 on the trot. Now they have beaten Pau by the gargantuan score of 83-6, the season's biggest total and its widest points difference. All registered with a record number of 13 tries.
And to think that a semi-final place was in the bag BEFORE they delivered a performance that had observers calling them the Harlem Globetrotters of rugby.
Amazingly, Toulouse had played their two previous games – a European defeat at Leinster and a win at Castres – without crossing the try-line once.
They even had an early try ruled out here when the referee denied winger Maxime Medard for a debatable obstruction. Medard put that right two minutes later by scoring the first that mattered.
You might imagine the League would not be too happy about a score that questions the credibility of its showpiece competition. Especially since Pau, who managed to beat Racing in their last game, retained only two first-choice players from that line-up.
The strategy that led to this humiliation was deliberately planned to concentrate their forces on what might have been a relegation showdown with Grenoble this week.
No longer, though, with Grenoble heading almost certainly for the drop after losing at home to Agen.
Pau have ambitious recruits for next season in Montpellier centre Alexandre Dumoulin and Kiwi Highlanders Ben Smith and Luke Whitelock.
There was little encouragement for them in this craven surrender which followed another such deluge in a 71-21 defeat at La Rochelle on their most recent journey.
Toulouse, who led 40-6 at the break, were well served by South African fullback Cheslin Kolbe and fly-half Thomas Ramos, who scored two tries each.
Centres Sofiane Guitoune and Kiwi Pita Akhi helped themselves, too, with winger Yoann Huget, No.8 Selevasia Tolofua, scrum-half Sebastien Bezy, hooker Julien Marchand and replacements Antoine Dupont and Gillain Galan also weighing in.
Pau's pitiful response was two penalties from Kiwi fly-half Tom Taylor, the first of which actually gave them the lead.
At least they are now pretty sure of staying up. As are Agen whose 29-11 victory at Grenoble confirms them as the Top 14's most reliable escape artists.
And, at the same time, condemns Grenoble – unless they score bonusenhanced wins in their last two games, the first of which is at Pau – to 13th place.
It means they will be closely watching today's Division Two programme to see who finishes as runners-up to champions Brive.
The new rules will pit Grenoble against that team in a winners-take-all play-off with Top 14 survival at stake.
Their opponents will be either Oyonnax, who will be bossed by English coach Joe El Abd next season, or Bayonne, who will have to win at Brive today to stand a chance.
Agen were inspired by Leo Berdeu, 20-year-old fly-half sensation who kicked 19 of their points. A yellow card for Grenoble hooker Mike Tadjer for a dangerous second-half tackle hurt his team.
Montpellier continued their astonishing attempt to turn disaster into triumph with a 12-9 win at Castres, so maintaining their improbable bid for the top six.
Frayed nerves under the rain made for too much thud and blunder for both sides but, in the end, it was Montpellier who scored the game's only tries through Gabriel Ngandebe, their Cameroon-born winger raised in Paris, and centre Yvan Reilhac.
And that was their sixth win in seven matches after a nightmare start to the season had team boss Vern Cotter under pressure.
Castres, who lost narrowly at home to Toulouse last time out, somehow contrived to do so again despite leading 9-7 after the break with the wind at their backs.
Goal-kickers Rory Kockott and Benjamin Urdapilleta will regret missing penalties that could have proved decisive in their favour.
Castres, though, still have a trip to Agen and a home game with Toulon to set the foundation for a defence of their title. No-one should forget they have won it twice after finishing in sixth place.
No such problems for Clermont who confirmed their place in the semi-finals with a 35-13 win over relegated Perpignan. A nice warm-up for their European Challenge Cup Final against La Rochelle at Newcastle on Friday.
Clermont really belong in the higher sphere where they will dispute greater honours next season.
They will end this one with a backrow forward among the Top 14's best try-scorers. That is No.8 Peceli Yato, the Fijian who scored a hat-trick to bring his total to ten.
He went over twice in the first 20 minutes with his compatriot, winger Alivereti Raka, looking to have secured the bonus shortly after the break.
A comeback try from Tongan hooker Seilala Lam endangered that point, though. A yellow card for Perpignan scrum-half Tom Ecochardy five minutes from the end was the opening Clermont required. Yato and Raka, once again, took full advantage.
Lyon should enhance their top-six challenge by beating fading Bordeaux- Begles at home today.
And Racing, too, look powerful contenders. They can destroy derby rivals Stade Francais today with games against lowly Perpignan and Agen to come.
