Room 101: Steve Hanley – former Sale and England winger

1. Cheese
Cheese is the devil's food, I can't stand the sight of the stuff let alone the taste or the smell. With that in mind I'd like to appeal to all awards dinner organisers to come up with something different than a cheese board to round off a meal. My hatred of cheese is such that I have to carefully look at the packets of pretty much every food product in the supermarket to make sure it does not contain cheese extracts. You'd be amazed at how many things do – even beef flavoured hula hoops are ‘contaminated'.
TRP verdict:  Save yourself a cheesy grin, this isn't going in.
2. Sand
I have a young family and we love nothing more than shooting off to the cottage we own on the North Wales coast for a weekend by the sea. However the one major drawback to this otherwise idyllic ritual is sand. I just hate the fact it gets everywhere. Like a good British holidaymaker you erect your windbreak and carefully lay out your rug only for someone to walk past and flick sand in your direction. Also, why is it that when you open the cool box all the sandwiches have an extra, unwanted filling in the middle? It doesn't matter how tightly sealed the box is, somehow sand finds a way in.
TRP verdict:  Time to get the hanky out…and put it on your head! Life's a beach, get over it!
3. Comb overs
My Dad has had a ‘Bobby Charlton' for about 25 years despite me urging him to get rid. I've even tried to ambush him with the scissors on five or six occasions only for him to fight me off. I don't know why follically challenged people don't just shave off what hair they've got left and be proud to be bald – like my old mate Jos Baxendell.
TRP verdict:  It was a close shave but you got in Room 101 in the end.