Room 101: Cinderford No.8 and captain Harry Hone

1. Backchat to referees

Compared to when I watch my mates play football our levels of backchat are nowhere near as bad, but you do get a few more boys complaining directly to the referee rather than go through the captain. Don't get me wrong, I'm probably of the first ones to moan when I get penalised for a perfectly legal turnover, but you have to know when to shut up and show respect for the referee or we turn into football players!

TRP VERDICT: You're right to be a whistle-blower on this issue.

2. Poor personal hygiene

There's nothing worse than when you're trapped in a car for two hours on the way to training with someone whose breath smells like they've eaten dog poo for breakfast – not naming any names, Matt Lane! Come on lads, a quick brush of the teeth and blast of deodorant ain't going to kill you.

TRP VERDICT: You're in danger of cleaning up here.

3. Vegan missionaries

By this I mean vegans telling you how great it is to be vegan. Don't get me wrong, we've all watched the documentaries about how we're killing the planet with eating too much meat and fish, I get that, but I don't need to listen about how your life's changed ever since you've started eating the grass in your back garden, I just want to enjoy my steak!

TRP VERDICT: Sorry you need to put more meat on the bones of this argument for it to go through.