Room 101: Richard Vasey – Caldy fly-half

Richard Vasey1. Paying for the use of public toilets
What is that all about! Although I’m a Yorkshireman and by tradition very stringent with my money, I find paying for the use of public toilets a step too far – even if we are talking about small change. ‘To spend a penny’ is a well out of date phrase, try multiplying that by 20 and you’ll be closer to the mark! To make things worse, I always seem to stumble upon this toilet form of daylight robbery when I’m at my most desperate and don’t have any change. Maybe they should introduce a pay by card facility to make things easier…or just not charge at all.
TRP verdict:  It literally is taking the p***. You’re in.
2. Cats
This may come as a shock to anybody who knows me because as a family we do actually own a cat. However, cats are basically the complete opposite of dogs: they are self-centered, not very playful and very sneaky. Not only does ‘Lola’ like to swipe at me whenever she gets chance (and she isn’t the only cat to do this) but she seems intent on provoking me at any opportunity. This is usually in the form of scratching carpets, bringing half dead rodents into the kitchen or eating anything she can lay her paws on! I don’t think cats even like each other because I only ever see or hear them fighting, never playing.
TRP verdict:  We’re not feline-generous, you’re out.
3. Celery
Celery has to be the most foul-tasting vegetable known to mankind. In its raw state I find it totally inedible – even when it is covered in a dip or sauce. My wife’s argument for putting celery into various recipes is…’when it is cooked you can’t taste it’. If that’s the case, why bother putting it in at all? I have also heard the argument that eating raw celery actually makes you lose weight. This can’t be true, it must be just be clever PR dreamt up by growers of the stuff. At its stringiest, eating celery is like putting dental floss in your mouth.
TRP verdict:  That’s one of your 5 a day you can take away.
*This article was first published in The Rugby Paper on June 8.

Leave a Comment